|
Storm
Jul 31, 2005 8:37:29 GMT -6
Post by Laura on Jul 31, 2005 8:37:29 GMT -6
a/n: I'm new here but not new to writing so just hoping to get some comments and opinions.
"Storm"
I.
a.
catch me throw me in a pool of leaves where I can swim in nature
II.
a.
"suck it up" he used to say [freeze]
III.
a.
wish I could have what I used to old pine flooring - where I used to dance twinkle my aging toes across the board used to love to tip toe in tip top shape ... I used to love to dance to this.
b.
her face was a burnt-like red lime green dress and peachy blonde hair "wasn't the sun" she said wasn't the sun, I bet scaling on the floor, looking for the bedroom door as he throws another penny she picks it up, of course.
II.
b.
why must he love the stranger? I wonder: is it the scent? the intriguing nature of foreign arms wrapping around his cold hard body I wish I was aware of what he was doing every moment in time I know I lie when I say he loves me.
I.
b.
sink in stone I'll love you through flesh and bone as I write in rhyme on a sunny afternoon ... love you more than I did before and say I'll never leave you, my love I'll say:
"catch me if you can" throw me into a pool: drown me in you.
Laura 2005.
|
|
|
Storm
Aug 3, 2005 20:16:58 GMT -6
Post by Absinthe on Aug 3, 2005 20:16:58 GMT -6
That was definitely different, but I kind of like it. It was very abstract and that's something you don't see very often. Nice job.
|
|
grifter
A Devoted Distraction
Posts: 135
|
Storm
Oct 20, 2005 15:39:24 GMT -6
Post by grifter on Oct 20, 2005 15:39:24 GMT -6
i really liked III a. and b. i love abstract poetry great art
|
|
|
Storm
Nov 26, 2005 0:44:07 GMT -6
Post by allmeheart on Nov 26, 2005 0:44:07 GMT -6
a very interesting style you have, you are a great writer
|
|
|
Storm
Dec 16, 2005 17:22:17 GMT -6
Post by Sharon on Dec 16, 2005 17:22:17 GMT -6
[glow=purple,2,300]...not so very new anymore are you now? i'm surprised i hadn't replied to this yet, that was good! i especially liked how you ended it with:[/glow] [glow=purple,2,300]very nice.[/glow]
|
|