Watching The Road

[thecrazybeautiful]

Definitely not my best, but it's something... Something real, at that.

Watching The Road

I thought of fast cars,
the ones that would hit the hardest
I felt the impact, not painful though,
but maybe the closest to happiness
my body's ever been

I thought of the asphalt,
imagined it was your arms
holding me together,
stopping me from coming undone
and creating the biggest mess
this highway's ever seen

I thought of love
bleeding in pools around me,
drowning the feelings that got me here,
and you were not around to say goodbye,
to watch me smile in this chaos,
but it was only chaotic to everyone but me

I thought of peace
and cried a little,
cause finding peace without you
isn't the best option,
though it comes a little closer
than forgetting you altogether,
but I'm still holding onto hope
that one day you'll bring complete happiness


I thought of what I could do,
but I'd rather live in misery
than die and be without you

[Absinthe]

I liked it. Just a few minor irksome things for me. I think you could have ended it without the final three lines. Maybe eliminate those and then take out the complete and do something like;

"but I'm still holding onto hope
that one day you'll bring

Happiness"

......Gives the same message at the end without being too redundant about it. Otherwise, I really do like this. My favorite parts:

"I thought of fast cars,
the ones that would hit the hardest
I felt the impact, not painful though,
but maybe the closest to happiness
my body's ever been"

.....Great way to start. The images are good and I absolutely love the idea of the impact bringing with it a sort of happiness.

"I thought of love
bleeding in pools around me,"

.....adoring this.

Overall, I liked it a lot.