Heartbreak of the Daybreak

[The Brutal Immortal]

Had a random deep thought today... Just sitting there, and all of a sudden, i thought, Heartbreak of the Daybreak, so i wrote down the title and ran with it...

As the dark becomes the light,
Just next door I hear them fight-
Back and forth, all day long,
I drown them out with another song...

Now as the light fades to grey,
They end their fight for the day-
And as they wash away their stains,
They never can forget the pains...

Now they lay down in the bed,
Drunken thoughts flash through their heads-
They join together for another joy,
Poor girl doesn't know shes just a toy...

When she opens up her eyes,
She can tell hes already high-
Blood lust flashes deep red,
He raises the gun to her head...

Light shines bright without a shout,
Two solitary shots ring out-
On the break of the day,
Two lives fade away...

[QueenPaige4]

Wow, that was so powerful. It's so beautifully written. Such a sad poem though but I love it. 10 out of 10.

[The Brutal Immortal]

thanks... i really enjoyed writing this...while i was sittin in math class i got a random idea, so i put up my classwork and pulled out my art binder... i got down the first three stanzas, and couldnt think of anything else, so i put it up until my next class, social studies... i had my friend, justin, give me an idea, the idea about how they ould both die, he didnt use any rhyming words, or really anything that is even in this poem, lol... and you know... things like this happen all the time in todays world... thats the bad part... but anyways... thanks for the fedback, i appreciate it

[QueenPaige4]

You're welcome. Yes, I know things like this happen all the time in this world that's why it is so sad. I'm so glad that my boyfriend and I hardly fight. And even when we do we don't yell and scream at each other we rationalize and talk it through.

[Isabela]

I like this too. I thought it really flowed and it made sense. You know lots of things like this happen in the world, things we have control over and things we don't. Hopefully things will change in the future, because that the rate things are going now it's only going to get worse.