Post by Laura on Aug 19, 2005 18:00:31 GMT -6
baby Jane
baby August
baby whatcha-gonna-be-named
what happened to you, fetus
when I opened my arms you fled from me
didn't mean to scare you;
didn't mean to love you so much
now I miss it all
just want you to feel this mother's touch,
emptiness and solitude.
borrowed feeling
was gonna buy you a monkey bean bag
for you to sit on
for you to bounce upon
when you would call my name
carelessly and out of words
only children could understand
where are your syllables
and where is your laughter?
the crying -
god I only wanted to hear you cry once.
hesitation never came with such regret
filling my lungs like the smoke from a cigarette
ripping through my body
tearing up my soul
breaking you down
to nothing but mold -
you fell apart and it's all my fault
should have stopped it when I could call upon it
let you fade fade fade away.
gave you my body
like a playground to build yourself in
this will be your home
it's not permanent; don't you fret
wish I could have...
met you.
oh cling on to me
wrap your little finger around this cord
that holds us two together
we will love once more
before you go out the cold door
into the frozen shelter underground
is my voice loud enough for you?
my baby love;
my baby tiredsome love...
weekends never seemed so long
before I could speed right through
remember when my belly was full?
I could hear you shouting
you wanted out
and you would kick me;
try to force me down
I wouldn't let you speak my name
until you were old enough to wink
sure wish I decided to give it up
maybe then you would be here dancing
twinkling your tiny toes across my counter
laughter filling the room
and my love - you
would be proud of me
maybe then you would love me as more
than just your mother
but as a daughter too
and I would have loved to hear you
sing me a song
drive me nuts so coffee would befriend me
stay up all night I would with you
just to hear you breathing and blinking
hold on to that cord
keep me close
you didn't die alone, my love.
and you've been gone
yes you've been taken from me
but sometimes
no every time in my dreams
I still speak your name
and hope some morning I'll awake
and you'll be crying in your crib
somewhere underneath my skin
I wish you were still there kicking.
baby August
baby whatcha-gonna-be-named
what happened to you, fetus
when I opened my arms you fled from me
didn't mean to scare you;
didn't mean to love you so much
now I miss it all
just want you to feel this mother's touch,
emptiness and solitude.
borrowed feeling
was gonna buy you a monkey bean bag
for you to sit on
for you to bounce upon
when you would call my name
carelessly and out of words
only children could understand
where are your syllables
and where is your laughter?
the crying -
god I only wanted to hear you cry once.
hesitation never came with such regret
filling my lungs like the smoke from a cigarette
ripping through my body
tearing up my soul
breaking you down
to nothing but mold -
you fell apart and it's all my fault
should have stopped it when I could call upon it
let you fade fade fade away.
gave you my body
like a playground to build yourself in
this will be your home
it's not permanent; don't you fret
wish I could have...
met you.
oh cling on to me
wrap your little finger around this cord
that holds us two together
we will love once more
before you go out the cold door
into the frozen shelter underground
is my voice loud enough for you?
my baby love;
my baby tiredsome love...
weekends never seemed so long
before I could speed right through
remember when my belly was full?
I could hear you shouting
you wanted out
and you would kick me;
try to force me down
I wouldn't let you speak my name
until you were old enough to wink
sure wish I decided to give it up
maybe then you would be here dancing
twinkling your tiny toes across my counter
laughter filling the room
and my love - you
would be proud of me
maybe then you would love me as more
than just your mother
but as a daughter too
and I would have loved to hear you
sing me a song
drive me nuts so coffee would befriend me
stay up all night I would with you
just to hear you breathing and blinking
hold on to that cord
keep me close
you didn't die alone, my love.
and you've been gone
yes you've been taken from me
but sometimes
no every time in my dreams
I still speak your name
and hope some morning I'll awake
and you'll be crying in your crib
somewhere underneath my skin
I wish you were still there kicking.