jtalago
Contently A Distraction
Posts: 46
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Post by jtalago on Jan 13, 2007 2:00:02 GMT -6
So here is something that doesn't rhyme....just wrote it in a "stream of consciousness way" and its a very, very rough draft.
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I walk the streets Baring my shame
Looking into windows To see what I don’t want
I ran into you Giving no ground
But saw in you What I couldn't in reflections
And so I gave you What I hated
You gave it back As love
Then I saw someone else In me That was you
We had it And we knew it
Now its gone And I need you both back
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jtalago
Contently A Distraction
Posts: 46
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Post by jtalago on Jan 13, 2007 2:08:06 GMT -6
Now that I look at it more, i dont like it
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Post by Absinthe on Mar 17, 2007 13:12:59 GMT -6
"But saw in you What I couldn't in reflections"
.....Loved the idea of these lines, though the rest of the poem was just kind of 'eh' for me. Not bad, but not great either.
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