|
No Good
Oct 28, 2006 18:44:29 GMT -6
Post by QueenPaige4 on Oct 28, 2006 18:44:29 GMT -6
Why lie when your eyes tell the truth? The heart breaker is now the heart broken Losing self control can be deceiving, When everything falls to the ground and crumbles. Life keeps moving on, As I live on to become who I want to be, Who I was meant to be, Who god needs me to be. Why does love make everything else die? Why does suicide go though my mind? Movies, why do they always end happy? Why is my world crumbling down? Why isn't he ever around when I need him? Why won't he listen to me, to his heart, to his mind? Why can't I tell him the truth, that I want to be with him, that we belong together, that just because it didn't work out the first time doesn't mean it won't work out the second time But he was never mine He always had someone else in mind Someone who wasn't me Someone who was obviously better than me Who most likely will be forever and always because I won't be good enough for anyone else Or at least that's how it seems to be.
|
|
|
No Good
Nov 10, 2006 13:48:29 GMT -6
Post by thecrazybeautiful on Nov 10, 2006 13:48:29 GMT -6
"The heart breaker is now the heart broken"
That's almost like a comforting statement... Imagine, a heart-breaker getting a taste of their own medicine...
"Movies, why do they always end happy?"
That's what I want to know.
|
|
|
No Good
Nov 11, 2006 13:07:09 GMT -6
Post by QueenPaige4 on Nov 11, 2006 13:07:09 GMT -6
thanks for your feedback
|
|
|
No Good
Jan 7, 2007 13:00:16 GMT -6
Post by Sharon on Jan 7, 2007 13:00:16 GMT -6
Thank you for sharing this with us - you may considering revising the last bit:
"because I won't be good enough for anyway else Or at least that's how it seems to be."
|
|
|
No Good
Jan 8, 2007 17:01:32 GMT -6
Post by QueenPaige4 on Jan 8, 2007 17:01:32 GMT -6
thanks for catching that sharon
|
|
jtalago
Contently A Distraction
Posts: 46
|
No Good
Jan 10, 2007 3:40:17 GMT -6
Post by jtalago on Jan 10, 2007 3:40:17 GMT -6
I liked the line:
"Who god needs me to be"
It's an interesting notion to think God NEEDS us to be who we are. It seems very true, just not often said like that. Great job.
|
|
|
No Good
Jan 10, 2007 6:11:33 GMT -6
Post by QueenPaige4 on Jan 10, 2007 6:11:33 GMT -6
Thank you so much
|
|
|
No Good
Mar 17, 2007 13:20:15 GMT -6
Post by Absinthe on Mar 17, 2007 13:20:15 GMT -6
Hmm....I'm kind of neutral on this. It isn't bad, but....I don't know. Not sure what I think about it to be honest.
|
|
|
No Good
May 5, 2007 14:40:27 GMT -6
Post by QueenPaige4 on May 5, 2007 14:40:27 GMT -6
thank you for your feedback
|
|
|
No Good
May 6, 2007 11:08:37 GMT -6
Post by NotSoPerfect on May 6, 2007 11:08:37 GMT -6
Yeah, sorry this is months late but I think it kind of switched themes too much. In one line it's discussing suicide, then religion, then relationships. I mean, an allusion to one of all of the above could really work well, but it just made the real theme hard to find. It was definitely an interesting read, though.
|
|
|
Post by QueenPaige4 on May 7, 2007 4:29:05 GMT -6
thank you
|
|