reason for existence

[Angelamongsociety]

I was doing just just fine before you came into my life ... or so I thought.

Then you appeared and my whole life was changed.

The sky was bluer, the air was sweeter, for the first time ever, my heart was whole.

It learned how to beat in perfect rhythm to yours.

Now that you have gone, the light that was once in my eyes has faded away to darkness.

My heart's rhythm is slow and unsteady.

More and more each day I fear I am slipping away.

I was broken when you found me and you made everything complete.

Fix this hole that you have left me with ..... I need you ..... you are my reason for existence.

[thecrazybeautiful]

I like the story in this one as well. I think you could have put it slightly better, but it's not too bad.

[Sharon]

ooo kind of hard to read against this light skin.

Not bad of a piece. A few of my thoughts:

I was doing just just fine before you came into my life ... or so I thought.

You started it off well - setting the tone and making the reader sort of ask "oh? what happened?"

Then you appeared and my whole life was changed.

something with the wording here isn't quite right, you may consider rewording.

The emotion is there just keep at it and you'll deliver even better.