untitled (musicians are so hard to tame)

[Laura]

and I can still feel you pressing your fingers to the ivory
tickling that piano and smudging your prints all over the keys
it's like when you crept up my spine
you used to dance without any movement at all
twinkling your toes to every shiver that rippled down my back
and you could say you lived there.

and then you wilted
fizzled into a grain of sand inside my hands
you fell apart, you held my heart inside your bag
and you ran away without me
you ran away.

and I get jumpy inside those fun houses with the twisty mirrors
always think I'll see your reflection behind me
grasping the shoulders I let you cry on and mould
I let you fix my shoulders to fit your head shape
your tears melted in with my skin and your lips
they fit so perfectly with my chest

and I still sense you in the pillows that lay wounded on the bed
where has the comfort gone?
you used to swim under the covers and
you used to revise your poetry on my stomach
you said I was like a canvas so beautifully spread out for you
and it was easy for you to miss the pages and write silly "I love yous"
all over my body

and you could say you lived there too.

and then you wilted
fizzled into a grain of sand inside my hands
you fell apart, you held my heart inside your bag
and you ran away without me
you ran away.

and I wonder if you've ever regained your happiness
and if you ever lie in bed with another and write letters on her figure
but I doubt they would ever come out like mine
I doubt she could ever be as simple and complex as I am
I doubt she could ever love you like you loved me -

and I remember your hands playing me like your acoustic
and you could say we made some beautiful music

and you could say you lived there.

[Samccaleb]

Wow! Thats pretty much all I can say, so I'll say it again, Wow! That was very moving. Great job!

[Only Me]

touching... i really like it... "and I get jumpy inside those fun houses with the twisty mirrors
always think I'll see your reflection behind me
grasping the shoulders I let you cry on and mould
I let you fix my shoulders to fit your head shape" this is kind of choppy... but i really like the idea... btw you could so easily turn this into a song....

[Sharon]

[glow=purple,2,300]there is just something about pieces starting with the word "and" that i find so intriguing for some reason. i don't know what it is exactly, but it's almost like... you're continuing something that you've already been trying to say. this was really good, great job. [/glow]

[allmeheart]

amazing, this was a wonderful piece of work, the similes and metaohors used made it all the better