Nothing But Lust

[cassi <3]

[glow=teal,2,400]Screaming with all my might,
Crying so hard until I can't breath,
My eyes are bloodshot red,
Looking like I had a little too much to drink,
But I did.

I drank myself in until I drowned,
As I sank into the sea of heartache,
My screaming dying and fading,
My heart breaking and shattering,
Can't you see or hear me?

I'm just an invisible nothing to you,
I'm a burden to your soul,
The sorrow deep inside me breaks,
'Cause to you..
We were nothing but lust.[/glow]

[Laura]

"Looking like I had a little too much to drink,
But I did."

--I think it would sound better if "but" here was "and".

I liked this though:

"I'm a burden to your soul,
The sorrow deep inside me breaks"

[cassi <3]

thanx.. Now that i read it closer, It would make sense. <3

[allmeheart]

nice job, i liked it, flowed pretty well and the fact that it was a more detailed account of heartbreak made the poem all the better keep up the good work

[cassi <3]

thank you lol again..

[Only Me]

"I'm just an invisible nothing to you,
I'm a burden to your soul,
The sorrow deep inside me breaks," I like this parts... it could start a new topic off the poem but you didn't let it... great job... Does that make sense? great poem!