A Moment's Weakness Leves Me Broken Again

[Absinthe]

I promised myself,
so long ago,
That I wouldn't get involved.
I promised myself
that I wouldn't fall.
But you looked at me,
and my heart melted,
beneath your mercury gaze.
I've been hurt before,
but my heart didn't care.
So I let you in.

All you did
was betray me.
Telling me it was all a lie
was the final crushing blow.
And I realized that it was
A moment's weakness that
left me broken again.

[allmeheart]

i liked this poem though i think if you would have added one more verse somehow it would have been better, just a suggestion incase you were looking for constructive criticism

[QueenPaige4]

I agree with her. Yeah one more verse would have made it better, but other than that it was pretty good. I can relate to it.

[Only Me]

I like it... i don't think it really needs another verse, i see it as short and to the point

[Sharon]

[glow=purple,2,300]i like your use of punctuation. i don't think you really need another verse however, i think you should revise the second verse so it flows better. perhaps, you could lowercase that A. for me, it gave me the impression that it's a new line not a continuation. overall though i liked it, good job [/glow]

[Laura]

"beneath your mercury gaze"

--very unique way of phrasing the colour of eyes ... at least that's what I got from it.