"What Never Was"

[allmeheart]

hello, I have responded to every poem so I figured I would post another one of mine, hope its not making ppl mad, if it is, I'm really sorry

"What Never Was"
She whispered in his ear, “I love you”<br>He turned and walked away
She kissed him; she hugged him
Yet his face expression never changed
She smiled when she saw him
His smile faded into a frown
She treated him like a king
He thought of her as a peasant
She blew kisses in his direction
He turned his head
She cried because she missed him
He celebrated her departure
She thought he was the light that was meant to guide her
He believed she was a shadow meant to bring misery
She asked him if they could ever be together
He harshly spoke the words “ No, what never was never can be.”<br>She never moved on the words forever haunted her
He married a year later, and forgot what never was
--Jessica--

[allmeheart]

lol, I just found the exclamation mark thingy funny, not really for any purpose or reason being there, lol, sorry if that confused anyone

[allmeheart]

for some reason, I don't really like that poem, but sometimes I think its best to get more than just your opinion before tossing work out

[Sharon]

wow, that poem tells an interesting story two poems a day doesn't make me mad, although... what's starting to annoy me a little lol is that unfinished thought thing you do, please learn how to use the "modify" button. thank you!

[allmeheart]

ok, lol, actually, I never saw that button, maybe I wasn't looking, lol, sorry about that

[Fluffyjackal]

Actually, I quite liked it. I have a thing for freestyle:) Plus, it tells a good story.
My favourite lines:

She cried because she missed him
He celebrated her departure

[BlueMoon]

Some of that is actually humor in my mind. Except for the ending, it ended sadly for the girl. Also, the thing about them acting different to each other such as the shadow and light line really brought out the contrast in the poem.

[Only Me]

I actually liked it... surpridingly enough it reminds me of my relationship with my husband... especially about the girl missing the guy and him celebrating when shes gone... thats the way i feel sometimes... we live in two different countries... he in Mexico and I in the States... just until his mother gets better or passes on... but thats the way i feel sometimes... "She treated him like a King He thought of her as a peasant" that is so real for me... you put into words what i have been feeling... I really like it... I ahve been trying to put all my feelings into words but somehow it just hasnt turned out the way i want it to...

[QueenPaige4]

wow...that was really good. I liked it extremely. The story line was good.

[Laura]

I really liked this:

"He turned and walked away
She kissed him; she hugged him
Yet his face expression never changed"

--but some of the flow was off in parts. I like the idea though.