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Post by xxemotears07xx on Nov 13, 2005 0:59:50 GMT -6
How do I learn to fly? If you've cut off my wings. How do I feel? If you've taken my feelings with you. Tell me, How do I love? If you still have my heart. How do I cry? If you've sucked my tears dry. How do I bleed? If you've bled me to death. How do I die? If I've been dead for so long. How do I walk away? If you already did. And tell me, How do I live? If you're not here with me...
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Post by Laura on Nov 16, 2005 15:40:01 GMT -6
The beginning was good:
"How do I learn to fly? If you've cut off my wings"
--the flow was kind of all over but you have potential. It's a usual feeling so it's hard to put it in truly original lines that are breath taking, but for now, it's fine.
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Post by Sharon on Nov 16, 2005 17:39:10 GMT -6
[glow=purple,2,300]You've used lines that hasn't exactly not been used before but this piece was still well written. Simple, yet portrays a strong emotion. Good job emotears Thank you for sharing this with us. [/glow]
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Post by QueenPaige4 on Nov 22, 2005 15:35:02 GMT -6
i agree with sharon. it was very well written and you did use lines that haven't been used before.
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Post by allmeheart on Nov 22, 2005 18:12:40 GMT -6
i think it would have been better if you had changed the ending lines to something different that way it would be a bit for memorable and eye catching, just a suggestion
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Post by Only Me on Nov 28, 2005 18:15:07 GMT -6
yea... well... I'm not quite sure how to respond. I like it, don't get me wrong but it just seems a little too "used" ? I don't know if that is the right word and by no means do i mean to offend you but... well, ok it reminds me of a song, when i think of the name and artist I will post it on here... it is good... thanks for sharing
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