My fear

[xxemotears07xx]

How fucking blind are you?!
Can't you see?!
All I want to do is be with you,
Hold you, kiss you, protect you!!
But you can't see through me,
this hard shell that hides me.
I may look cold and tough outside
but inside I am nothing but a little girl,
wanting protection,wanting love,wanting somebody
Who I can hold and call my own.
Why can't you see?!?!
You are the most beautiful woman
I've ever seen in my life.
But I cant tell you that..
Im a coward,
I fear you
I fear what you can say
I fear your rejection
But most of all...
I fear myself.

[Sharon]

[glow=purple,2,300]There seems to be a lot of anger in this piece, or frustration rather, a sense of want of possession and hopeless infatuation too. I like your use of punctuation. Not exactly my favorite piece but over all good job.[/glow]

[Laura]

I agree with Sharon. Frustration can cause writing to be a little "cut". By that, I mean ridged around the edges. There are some good lines and with some revision, I bet this could be a really good poem. I like:

"this hard shell that hides me.
I may look cold and tough outside"

--I know how this feels. I intimidate people, but I'm really not as angry and sad as I look.

[QueenPaige4]

wow, that was powerful very moving

[allmeheart]

emotion with out a doubt is there, you seemed outraged when writing this, and it surely showed, the poem needs to be a bit more, sedated

[Only Me]

... good imagery... like I can see either a couple ... a girl pushing away another girl all the while the other girl is pulling her closer... and I also see it as a mother daughter relationship... I see it as two girls not as a man woman... you know what I am saying... I enjoyed it...