xxdarkxangelxx
Contently A Distraction
Love me for who I am not who I've become
Posts: 30
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Post by xxdarkxangelxx on Aug 2, 2005 10:20:17 GMT -6
Whatever happened to that person I used to know.So far removed.You're here but gone, I'm accomponied but alone.The person who used to love me is now only a shallow memory of my broken heart.Is this how it is supposed to be.Now so different and far gone that the outside world is a blur.I can no longer see or breath. You stole my heart and let it stop beating.We use to have it all but I guess thats over with so what's the point. I use to have so many reasons now I can't think of one.Only you can put my broken heart back into the pieces before it fades away.Love and death are everything,and I found that love can be your death, if you let it slip away
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Post by Absinthe on Aug 3, 2005 20:19:37 GMT -6
I'm going to tell you the same thing I did in your other poem. Change the format, because this looks cluttered.
Anyway, it isnt bad, just kind of a pain to read.
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Post by Only Me on Aug 6, 2005 0:42:50 GMT -6
its actually really good... something you should try is making a shape with the poems... like so that they are not so squished in together... You see what I am saying? I think that your poetry would go great with formatting such as this? ! here is an example with your work.... Whatever happened to that person I used to know. So far removed. You're here but gone, I'm accomponied but alone. The person who used to love me is now only a shallow memory of my broken heart. Is this how it is supposed to be. You dont have to use this suggestion but sa far as formatting goes and for it looking good on paper? yea its just a couple of my ideas... The preview and the way I actually did it are completely different so it may not seem like that great of an idea but e-mail or im me and I'll show you how I done it...
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Post by allmeheart on Aug 20, 2005 13:35:00 GMT -6
it would make things so much easier if u put this in a poetic format
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Post by Sharon on Aug 21, 2005 13:51:27 GMT -6
[glow=purple,2,300]i agree with what the others said. poetry is about words in format. i think you have things to say, but in order for your words to be properly considered poetry, you need to consider structure.
...in this particular piece, i really liked the last lines:
[/glow]
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